Last weekend I watched two of my favorite movies,  October Sky and Rudy.  Both are about 2 boys who defy all odds to achieve their dreams.

In October Sky, Homer Hincham leads 3 of his friends to start building rockets.  This is in the 1950’s after the launch of the first satellite by the Russians. Homer and his friends overcome all odds to win top honors in a national science fair.

In Rudy, Rudy Ruettiger has a dream of playing football for Notre Dame.  There are two problems.  First he has a learning disorder.  When he graduates from high school, his grades are not good enough for him to get into Notre Dame.  Second, he is too small and does not weigh enough to be on Notre Dame’s football team.  Rudy dues make it to Notre Dame.  He plays on the football team’s practice squad for 2 years.  Finally with about 30 seconds to go in the last game of the season, Rudy gets to play.

The Main Adversity

The main challenge Homer and Rudy had to overcome was the lack of support they received from their fathers.

Homer’s dad was a coal miner.  He was the best at the mine at which he worked.  Since Homer wasn’t good at sports, his dad saw him following in his footsteps and working at the mine after finishing high school.

Rudy’s dad was a steel worker.  He saw Rudy working at the same steel mill where he worked.  In fact Rudy did work there for several years after High School.

Both Homer’s and Rudy’s dad were tough on them.  Homer’s relationship with his dad was horrible.  Anybody seeing the movie for the first time cheers when Homer goes on to succeed even though his dad does not support him.

First Observations Are Deceiving

The initial impression anyone gets is that both Rudy’s and Homer’s dads want them to work with them where they work because that is what is expected of the males in their family.

Rudy’s dad tells him that a Ruettiger is meant to be a steelworker.  The men in the family are blue collar workers.  None has ever gone to college.

Homer’s dad lets him know that everyone in their town works in the coal mine.  The only males who get out of it are those who are good in sports and get scholarships to college.

Going Deeper

When you watch these movies more than once, you wonder what triggers both fathers to be the way they are.  You suddenly realize that both were that way because somewhere along the way their own dreams had been crushed.

Rudy’s dad was forced to grow up quickly when his own dad deserted their family. At that point he had to start providing for himself and the family.  Any dream that he had was crushed.

Homer’s dad lived in the same area of West Virginia.  The only work available for men was as coal miners.  There was no way out for most.  The only ones who could possibly make it out were those who excelled at sports and got  scholarships to colleges.  (Homer’s dad was not one.)  Everyone else might as well forget about any dream they had.  It was never going to come through.  They would still end up working in the coal mine.

So in effect both Rudy’s and Homer’s dads were trying to protect their sons.  They didn’t want to see them crushed when they found they would never realize their dreams.  They tried to discourage their dreams.  They just went about it in the wrong way.

Homer’s mom indirectly confirms that when she tells Homer that he is just like his dad.

Does This Still Happen Today?

I want to say no.  That would not be true.  It may not happen to the same extent as it did to boys and girls growing up 30 to 60 years ago.  Yet it still occurs far too frequently.  One good thing is that most dads today are not as critical Homer’s dad was.

There are too many instances where dads are not encouraging their children to pursue their dreams.  They don’t take the time to find out what each individual child’s gifts are.  They don’t see how the gifts tie into the dreams they have.  They never bother to check how they line up with a career or job.  They don’t encourage their children to ask a guidance counselor at school for help on this.

All too frequently people end up in jobs where their talent is wasted – jobs that bring them no satisfaction and jobs where they are not happy.

What Can You Do?

If you’re a dad, find out what dreams each of your children have.  Support and encourage them.  Take some time with them and see what talent they have.  Help them develop it.  Work with them to find a career and job where they can use their talent to the fullest.  Most probably that career and job will line up with their dreams.

If you’re a mom, talk to your husband about this.  Let him know what special talent you believe each of your children has.  Help your husband find out what dreams each has.  See what steps the both of you can take to take to discover what career and job would be a great match for each child.  Work with your husband in encouraging each child to pursue their dreams.  Support them in getting into careers where they can use their talent fully.

As parents our greatest desire is to see our children be as happy as they can be.  By working with them to see what their talent is and to find a career where they can use their talent fully, we will be helping them to experience more happiness in their lives.

Have a great day.

Bob Paroski

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