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Archive for January 2012

This is something I have been thinking about quite a bit.

One of my goals in life is to be as happy as I can be.

I have come to realize that money and stuff do not bring me happiness. I am happy when I am getting along well with others especially my loved ones and those closest to me. 

The Better My Relationships are

The Happier I am

That’s where the problem comes in.  All too frequently I find that I will say something to a friend or loved one which hurts them.  My relationship is damaged. At those times my happiness disappears or drops substantially.

When I was young, I was not physically strong.  So when someone picked a fight with me, it didn’t pay for me to fight back.  There was no way I was going to win.

So I compensated.  I learned the power of words.  I learned words that would rip others up emotionally.  I excelled at this.  When someone attacked me, I got even with them through words.

My Mouth Was My Gun,

My Hammer, My Club

That was the way I responded and it paid off or so I thought.

As an adult I find that I all too frequently retaliate with a harsh cruel statement or critical comment when I believe someone has done something to hurt me.  Notice I say here “when I believe.”  The other person may not have meant anything by what they said or did.  I just did some mind reading and reached the wrong conclusion.

Needless to say I do this with those closest to me.  After the poisonous words are out, it takes me quite awhile to restore the trust of the person I have hurt.  Our relationship is slowly rebuilt.  All the while I am not as happy as I desire to be.

I don’t know how many years ago I heard this: 

Engage Brain Before Opening Mouth

This has been the hardest thing for me to learn.  I wish that I carried Duck tape on me all of time.  Then when I am mind reading, I can automatically seal my mouth right before the venomous words came out.

I have always envied other people who don’t have this problem I have.

Much Success,

Bob Paroski

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